Well... I have decided I need to get some of my music out into the world. While I have done the "Beat of the Day" series for a while... I decided it's time to release my music.
With this decision comes fear, anxiety, gratitude, sense of accomplishment, sense of failure, all kinds of emotions. Let me tell you why...
Once upon a time... I was in Jr. High School... somewhere in the mid 70s... I started playing trombone. Then one day... I heard an amazing drummer for a band called Rush... well and the bass player too! I wanted to be a rock and roller in a band... and play like Geddy and Neil play! We were poor... so I built a drum kit out of whatever I could find... boxes... pans... pan lids for cymbals. You name it, I tried it. I figured out how to play drums this way. Then I started to play on the kit at the school. Once I got over my fears of rejection... turned out... people liked my drumming style.
Along the lines of bass playing (being Geddy Lee), I had an acoustic guitar that my mom had purchased a year before. I removed the B and E strings and learned bass on this acoustic guitar. Have you ever tried a Geddy Lee bass part on a 4 string Acoustic Guitar turned into a "bass"? Not easy I will admit! But I did it. Then I borrowed different basses from friends and acquaintances that were brave enough to lend a kid a bass... And I got pretty good at it. I was finding acceptance with my peers and we all know how difficult that is at the ripe old age of 15 or 16.
But one day... my mom had this statement for me... she said... "You will never amount to anything in the musical world... find a skill to prepare you for a real job".
My hopes were crushed... I was a pretty good musician with a potential career as a good one. I had visions of being a studio musician one day. All dashed by that one statement.
I went to vocational school the following year and took electronics and dropped out of the high school band and orchestra. I learned electronics. I was good at that too!
Most of you know the rest. I went in the military. Had the time of my life in all aspects of that timeframe! Travel, working on and flying on some of the coolest planes in the air. Drinking. Partying. All things boys tend to do as a young early 20 something. But I was missing my passion... the true deep calling on my life if you will. Creating music in some form or another.
Now... keep in mind... the economy in the mid-late 70s was pretty bleak... we were poor... my dad had left us... my mom was starting to develop her mental issues at the time (and I was not even sure at the time, what was going on with her). But I was devastated. I have resolved her statement to be an antidote to the condition we were in at the time. But young male brains don't process things that deeply.
I am not complaining! I am who I am now because of all of the paths the journey has taken me! I quit partying, no drinky for me anymore. Not even in a social setting. God came into my life and the experience has been second to none! I picked music back up! I found my wife... my love! My soulmate! Developed more skills. Kids arrived in our lives (that far outweighs any other experience in my life with the exception of finding my wife!) Started overspending on musical and audio gear (still do that today)! Started creating songs and passages with music!
I am in a place where I have resolved all of those things that my mom dropped on me as a young kid! And have vowed to never do that to my kids!
Success creating music is defined by me. Not society, not Billboard, or a record label. It is for the sole purpose of expression. While I may be behind the curve with that epiphany, I am going to execute it now! I am going to express! I cannot sing! So my music is instrumental! I like all genre of music. Some will come out of me with appeal to a narrow population and some will come out with a broader appeal. I used to fear that! I used to fear that people would hate my music and the damage it would do to my psyche. No more!
The regret is I did not do this sooner! Putting fear behind me!
But here we are! I am going to move forward! And music will come out of my being!
I believe God gave me this beautiful gift! It is different than others! I do not possess the talent others do! But, I have a level of talent given to me by the Creator! And music, it is the one thing that speaks to my soul! I am complete with this gift! And the gift I have is specific to me! God gave this to ME!
I am a firm believer that God, in his image, created me with these gifts to express myself and to reflect Him. To use them to worship Him. To connect with others using them! He knew my destiny before I took my first breath! And I am on the journey toward the destination!
If you get a chance, listen to my music! Enjoy it! Know where it is coming from! Streaming services these days allow for consumption without buying it. So no excuses! You don't have to buy it! Unless you like it!
My hope is you do like it! My hope is it connects with you! My hope is you feel what I feel with it!
Here is a link to my first release, Summer Breeze
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